Lost in the wilds of backwoods America

Dear whoever reads these words.

We are lost in an electron-free dead-zone somewhere in a place called “Yellowstone.” No telephones, no cell phones, no television, no radio, NO INTERNET! There are no electrons in the air at all. I am suffering total technology withdrawal. There is NOTHING here except a bunch of nature. If we never return from this deprivation, look for our desiccated, emaciated, mauled by wild natural animals, body parts in the droppings of large furry beasts somewhere in the backwoods of this backward state.

Good-bye cruel world!

“Jeremiah Johnson” Frank, “Grizzly Adams” Cheryl, and Peanut, the Pioneer Pup.

Return to Greybull, Wyoming

(Frank) The last time I was in Greybull (1976) the town was about 6 blocks long and there was a line of old cars dating from the ‘30’s and ‘40’s lined up in a lot on Main Street. They weren’t for sale; it was just a vacant lot with about 20 rusting cars on it. I took a couple of photos. I’ll have to see if I can find them in my old albums. The town has grown since then. It’s at least seven blocks long now but I can’t figure out where that lot is/was.

(Cheryl) We’re in Shady Grove campground, a small place with 14 RV sites. Last evening I walked down the alley about a block and a half to a local grocery. Along the way there were red Hollyhocks in bloom. After snagging some meat and other stuff the Big K where we shopped earlier didn’t have, I lugged my plastic bags back to the RV. It brought back memories of walking on the rails down to the tiny Standard Grocery when I was a kid in Kokomo.

It was almost 7:00 p.m. when I got started on supper, so I knew we wouldn’t eat until after 8:00 p.m. However, there were thawed pork chops that had to be cooked and a left over chicken breast that wouldn’t fit in the pot from the night before. I had marinated it thinking we would do the chops and the chicken breast on the grill. Frank looked bushed, so I thought I’d just cook everything inside. Believe it or not, I had our George Foreman roaster, the oven, the stove top, and the microwave all going at once! It was quite a feat in Ali-the-Gator’s small kitchen, but we won’t have to cook again for a couple of days at least!

(Frank) We left Sturgis at about 9 this morning and arrived here in Greybull at 6 PM. We drove west on I-90 to Sheridan, Wyoming and then turned left onto Rt. 14. The drive was scenic beyond belief as we crossed over 9033 foot high Granite Pass. Cheryl’s word for the day is “awesome!” I’ll let her add some more poetic prose to describe this day and yesterday.

(Cheryl) The highlight of the trip today was seeing Shell Falls in the Big Horn National Forest. Here the water is at work building a new Grand Canyon of the West. There was an interpretive path and a wooden deck to view the falls. I took tons of pictures and videos. The sound of the falls and the rushing water really gets inside me!

(Frank) Yesterday we drove about 70 miles to the east to visit Wall Drug. I sure hope you’ve heard about it as everyone else in the world has. Wall Drug is HUGE! Where it used to be an interesting place to stop while driving cross country, it is now a destination stop unto itself, witness our driving 70 miles just so Cheryl could see it. We spent the requisite hour or so there, and we spent the requisite couple of hundred bucks or so there, and we then headed directly south into the Badlands.

(Cheryl) Wall Drug provided the new boots I’d been searching for in Sturgis, a new cowgirl hat, and wonderful thick socks with the most fun artwork. My feet are happy, I’m happy. Wall’s turned itself into an indoor mall, and I’d be surprised if you get a prescription filled there today. They still serve free ice water to all comers and the newly married and veterans get free coffee and a doughnut. There is a chapel alongside leather stores, jewelry shops, and you name it they’ve got it stores. The merchandise compels you to buy something, anything just to say you got it at Walls. Really, the items I bought are good quality.

(Frank) The Badlands were appropriately named. This is not a place you want to be in a Conestoga wagon. Pity the poor pioneer who ended up here because they probably ended up here. The Badlands are Baaaaaaaadddd! I don’t even see how they cut the scenic road through for us wimpy-assed tourists. It must have been a Herculean effort. Once again I’ll let Cheryl add some more descriptive prose.

(Cheryl) I went crazy with the video in the Badlands using up all my camera card memory and moving right on to disk space on the camera itself. The Badlands must be what the astronauts saw on the moon back in 1969. Frank and I both agreed that it can’t be described. You must see it someday to appreciate it. Pictures just won’t do it justice. It is magnificent with its stark moonscape monoliths and canyons. I didn’t expect to love it so much.

(Frank) On the way back to Sturgis we stopped at the South Dakota Air and Space Museum at Elgin AFB. It’s not big, but it is impressive. They have F84, F86, F100, F101, F105 fighters on static display outside along with a B25, B29, B52 and B1B. Those among a dozen or so other cargo and special use aircraft. Inside the museum they have several large rooms full of memorabilia detailing the history of the Air Force from it beginning as the Army Air Corp to its future as the preeminent Space Command. It was fun.

We got back to camp about 5PM and dark clouds started to gather. Someone yelled “There’s hail down in Sturgis!” and we all scrambled to get our bikes inside our trailers. I got mine in, but got soaked in the process. The hail didn’t hit our camp, but did major damage to other camps, downtown Sturgis, and cars and bikes on I-90. When we went into town about 7PM we saw several cars with both windshield and rear windows completely smashed out, and several campers with their awnings torn completely off. Main Street Sturgis looked like a wet and bedraggled cat. We stayed long enough to eat some tasteless “pork on a stick” and pick up my “Used To Be Bad” patch. Then we caught “Da Bus” back to camp and crashed into dreamland. It thundered and rained all night. Peanut is a nervous wreck.

Later,
Soaking Wet Frank, Cheryl and Peanut (under the couch)

Taking a day off at Rush-No-More Camp

South Dakota really knows how to predict the weather. Yesterday they said it would be sunny and dry all day with showers in the evening and thunderstorms the next morning. So we took the 4-hour ride to Deadwood, Lead, etc and the weather was wonderful. Later we took “Da Bus” downtown for a great steak dinner and then walked from shop to vendor in a gentle rain that wasn’t even enough to soak through our lightweight jackets.

Early this AM the thunderstorms rolled it. Thunder, lightning, horizontal rain, it was great! And we were snug as can be in Ali-the Gator. We had planned to drive to Wall Drugstore and the Badlands this morning but heeding the forecast we decided instead to call it a down day and do laundry. Unfortunately everyone in the camp decided to do the same thing and the camp Laundromat was wall to wall with folks hauling sacks of clothes. So I declared we would go to Plan B.

I remembered that back in 1976 I dropped off my laundry at a “we do it” laundry in Sturgis and last week in my wanderings I saw the same Laundromat offering the same service. So we drove down, dropped off the laundry, and went to breakfast. I went back at 2 PM and picked up the washed, dried, folded clothes. Now that’s the way to do laundry!

One other thing! After breakfast we wandered about a bit and I stumbled into a vendor store that makes CUSTOM patches! As in, a patch that says whatever you want. So I ordered a “Used to be bad” patch for the back of my jacket. I’ll pick it up this evening when we once again board “Da Bus” for one last fling on Main Street.

Oh, one more other thing. Leaving Sturgis we got caught up in heavy traffic and I tried to get out of town by sneaking through some residential areas. This put us on a strange road which SEEMED to be heading the right direction, so we took it. It wasn’t. But it did take us past the “Buffalo Chip” (www.BuffaloChip.com) campground and that was well worth the wasted time. “The Chip” is HUGE! We could see it stretch forever. It looks like it is a complete city unto itself. It turned out that the heavy traffic was a three-mile backup of people leaving “The Chip” and heading into Sturgis for the day. And we had though that there must have been an accident on the interstate and they were detouring the traffic off I-90 and through town. Anyway, after about 20 miles on the wrong road we finally decided to U-Turn it back to Sturgis and slog along with the traffic.

The current two-day plan is to do Wall Drug (http://www.walldrug.com/default.aspx) and the Badlands (http://www.nps.gov/badl/) tomorrow and then pull up stakes and head west Saturday Morning.

Love,
Frank, Cheryl, and Rin-Tin-Tin

Devil’s Tower and Riding Spearfish Canyon

3:00 PM (Cheryl) We’ve had so much fun the past two days, we haven’t taken time to write! Yesterday we took KB truck over to Wyoming to see Devil’s Tower. The tower appears in the distance like some giant figment of our imagination as we approach the national park. Getting up close, it proves to be gulp time. I’m just glad we’re not here to scale it or anything stupid like that. I hiked a few feet up the trail toward the monolith with Frank urging me onward, but the altitude just saps my energy. One trail goes all the way around the tower and another skirts it and wanders off into some giant loop. We decided taking pictures and getting back in the truck might be the best idea. Peanut appreciated the short wait time.

We took the long way back to Sturgis and fell in love with Spearfish Canyon. So much so, we took off this morning at 8:00 a.m. on the Norton to do the loop from Sturgis through Deadwood, Central City, Lead, and Spearfish.

(Frank adds) We stopped in Lead for breakfast at a Methodist Church. It seems that just about every civic organization in the area puts on Biker's Breakfasts! We had scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes, coffee and orange juice, all for $5.00 each. Yeah, for good food, good people, and clean restrooms, find a Methodist church. It was at breakfast that I asked "Am I in Lead (LED) or Lead (Leed)? The answer was Lead (Leed). Apparently a "Lead" is a vein of gold in a mine. I think it would be hilarious if every other local merchant put up a sign on their door that says, "You are in Lead (Leed) Colorado, and the next guy's sign would say, "You are in Lead (LED) Colorado, just to drive the tourists nuts.

(Cheryl again) Spearfish Canyon canyon twists and turns though a pine forest backed by towering stone cliffs accompanied by rushing streams and waterfalls. We stopped at Bridal Veil Falls for a few pictures and an enterprising gentleman was there selling bottles of water for $1 a pop. The trail over the creek and up to the falls proved to be too steep for me, so we again were happy to take pictures and get back on the Norton.

By the way, we’re going to try and include another video in today’s blog. Hope you were able to see the one we put in on Monday. We took today’s video on Monday morning when we lined up with the rest of the bikes along Main Street Sturgis. Starship Snoopy attracted several onlookers, and I got a bit of video showing Frank “showing off” the Norton. Note the back of the guy’s shirt as he ogles Starship Snoopy.

Tonight it’s back on the Da Bus for another trip into Sturgis for dinner at a steak house (hopefully). Last night we snagged some yummy chicken on a stick under an outdoor canopy while the storm moved into town. We got a bit damp, but Frank still managed to ford the gutter deluge and scamper up the steps of the Victory dealer. He sat on a couple of the bikes, and it was love, love, love. Wow! These bikes have class! We miss all of you and would very much like to hear from you by email at fjdmjr@cox.net or ckdelmonte@cox.net Peanut found the love of his life at the trailer next door. She’s a sweet Yorkie and the two of them can’t seem to get enough of each other. Love from Frankie, the Biker Chick, and Romeo the puppy.

Showing Off – Harleys 199,999 – Norton 1

3:45 PM – Monday (Cheryl) “Da Bus” pulled into Rush-No-More around 6:30 p.m. last evening. We hopped on board sporting new pink bus passes for the week on our wrists to go with our silver wrist bands from the campground. They’re serious about knowing who comes and goes around here. During the four-mile ride into Sturgis, we realized we’d probably be riding home with a few happy drunks at the end of the night (Da Bus runs every half hour until 2:00 AM). This was obviously a DUI avoidance conveyance, and a great idea. Sure ‘nuff, there were a couple of drunks on the way home. No big deal, and it was a terrific way to avoid having to find a place to park.

“Da Bus” dropped us off right in the middle of town a block off the main drag. We asked a cop where the locals eat, and he pointed us to Mama Mia’s Italian place. We had spaghetti and meatballs that were so good we returned for breakfast this morning – but I’m getting ahead of my story.

Last night the sidewalks were wall to wall bikers dressed in everything from leathers to almost nothing at all. One gal had covered herself with netting and was out in her all-together! Most guys just rolled their eyes and walked on. Earlier in the day someone told us a gal got busted for flashing her boobs. Evidently it’s ok if you have pasties on, but beware the flash if you’re exposing bare flesh.

Evidently the clothes police hadn’t caught up with the little netted angel yet. All in all, most people were just having a blast showing some cleavage and strutting their stuff. We were tucked in bed last night by 11:00 PM and on the Norton roaring toward Sturgis with the wind in our hair by 9:00 AM. We got a great place to park on Main Street not far from Mama Mia’s where we loaded up on carbs, carbs, carbs (great gravy with Italian sausage, biscuits, bacon, regular sausage, scrambled eggs, and coffee $7.95). We’re not looking at the scale again until September.

The number of bikes on the streets just boggles the mind! However, one statistic we’re pretty sure about says that among all the others there is only one Norton! Seriously, we really haven’t seen any other British iron, and apparently not many bikers were aware there were any Nortons still on the road because Frank got lots of questions and ohhh’s and ahhh’s.

(Frank) The biggest kick I’m getting out of Sturgis is having the same bike here 33 years after its first time. In 1976 I rode the Norton from Virginia to Sturgis back when he was configured for touring and named Big Red. Now I’ve brought him back reincarnated as the Cafe Racer Starship Snoopy. It would be fun to find out how many other bikes are returning after such long hiatuses. There are probably bikes that have been here every year for the last 33 years. At breakfast we saw a white-haired lifestyle biker whose wife was using a walker. We placed them easily in their late seventies, possibly eighties. I’ll bet they’ve been here a bunch of times. His beard was braided and beaded and his hair pulled back in a long braid.

Sturgis is a town of 7,000 residents. During Bike Week the population swells by 100,000 to 200,000 people. I’ve heard that the town generates enough revenue during Bike Week to meet all its needs for the rest of the year. Likewise, while the local residents probably hate the week itself, they too make out like bandits by allowing bike parking on their property for outrageous rates, allowing bikers to camp in their front and back yards, and renting out rooms. Local businesses literally shut down for the week, move all of their products and employees to back rooms or upstairs and rent out the fronts of their properties to Bike Week vendors. The saying goes about the residents of Sturgis, “Those who can, leave. Those who can’t, gouge.”

Even though money drives Sturgis, it must be said that it’s a happy environment. The vendors are happy, the locals are pleasant, and the bikers are not so rowdy that you feel unsafe downtown. The aging of America includes motorcyclists, and we’re walking around with people with a median age of 50 plus. Yes, there are young men and sweet young things here, but frankly at Sturgis, geezers rule.

Love, Two Geezers and a pup

KB Truck Drive to Rushmore and Crazy Horse

3:15 PM (Frank) We just returned from seeing Crazy Horse and four dead presidents. It was interesting but not too enlightening as they are all very stone faced and uncommunicative. Somber you might say. The ride (drive) down was beautiful. This is very pretty country, but also very windy. South Dakota should consider a new slogan for their license plates, perhaps, “South Dakota, where the wind never doesn’t blow.” Or maybe simply, “South Dakota Blows.”

I’ve been to Sturgis Bike Week twice before (1976 and 1990) but this is Cheryl’s first time. I’m enjoying showing her things I’ve seen before, and I’m also marveling at how much they’ve changed in the last 33 years. I last visited Rushmore and Crazy Horse in 1976 and all the roads and facilities have been expanded 10-fold. At Rushmore we found the “historic” viewpoint down and around the corner from the new viewing area. That’s where I stood in ‘76 and it’s a weird feeling to be considered part of history.

I never actually went into the Crazy Horse Monument. I think you could see it from the highway in ’76 and it was just a big stone mountain with a few bare spots blown out of it. It didn’t strike me as worth making a left turn. Now however it is worth visiting. Major progress has been made on the monument and the visitor’s center includes museums, two theaters showing the full history of the monument, a restaurant, and a lot of other displays well worth seeing. When we entered we thought the $10 per person cost was a bit steep but we later found that the whole thing is supported by the visitor admission money and no government funds are accepted by the family who are carving the mountain. That made the price a bit more palatable.

(Cheryl) If we don’t poop out, tonight we’re riding “Da Bus” into Sturgis to get a look at all the bikes on the first official day of the rally. Hopefully we’ll find a place to have a nice dinner as well. Peanut will stay home in the trailer. At Crazy Horse today, they let us take him inside as long as we held him. He seemed to enjoy the movie about the family who keeps carving on the mountain. At least he enjoyed the guy sitting next to me and rested his head on the guy’s arm. Luckily the man was a dog lover! It was a fun day and the weather is absolutely perfect with a high of about 89 and soft breezes. Lovin’ it!

From the romantic land of cowboys and Indians,
Frank, Cheryl and Peanut (more fondly known as Little Toot, Little Bit, and Peachy)

A Rowdy Night in Deadwood

7:00 AM (Cheryl)

The rally officially starts tomorrow, but driving through Sturgis you’d think it well underway. The town looks like a circus with white tents full of Bike Week regalia, t-shirts, boots, leathers, helmets, clothes, chrome, jewelry, m/c parts, tires, and on and on. Long black trailers with m/c dealer and brand names on them park one after the other in lots next to campgrounds, tents and highways. Businesses in town leave their front doors open with signs in windows screaming Welcome Bikers!!! We feel like celebrities among civilians.

Harleys roll by like ocean waves with lifestyle riders and sweet young things on the back. And more and more frequently motorcycle mamas turn the throttle. Both Custer and Deadwood benefit from the Sturgis rally and these towns are equally outfitted for Bike Week. After rolling through Sturgis last evening in KB truck, we headed down to Deadwood. After a couple of spins through town passing myriad casinos, restaurants, bars, and shops crammed with bikers, we finally found a spot to park in a center-of-town parking garage just a block off the main drag.

Getting to the roof of the 4-story garage proved an adventure in itself. The lanes were so narrow Frank actually needed to back up a few times to avoid hitting trucks parked in “compact” slots. On the roof we marveled at two dualies parked side by side who obviously navigated the same narrow passages.

Frank carried Peanut up away from the foot traffic and shielded him somewhat from the m/c noise in the street. Peanut remained calm until the shootout in the street preceding the Trial of Jack McCall at the Masonic Lodge. Luckily Frank snagged tickets to the show after finding out this was the last night until after Bike Week. The authorities won’t allow the street to be closed for the shootout during all the biker traffic yet to come.

The Trial of Jack McCall proceeds in three parts. First, the shootout in the street where the sheriff catches a couple of stagecoach robbers; second, an hour later the sheriff and company chase Jack McCall up the street and apprehend him after he shoots Wild Bill Hickok in the back of the head as Wild Bill plays cards in Saloon #10 (true story by the way and on location!). Jack McCall, escorted by the sheriff, judge and lawyers, walk up to the building where the Trial of Jack McCall takes place a couple of hours later. While waiting to see the trial we grabbed a hamburger at Mustang Sally’s and sat on the busy patio watching the bikes roll past.

At 8:00 p.m. we wandered down to the Masonic Hall to see the end of the story. The Trial includes audience participation for witnesses to the shooting and the jury consists of kids chosen from the audience. One young boy played the sheriff, toting a gun and escorting the prisoner to the stage. The boy kept a close eye on Jack for the remainder of the trial. As the jury deliberated, the judge, court clerk, and attorneys entertained with ballads accompanied by mandolin, guitar, washboard, spoons and harmonica. The kids in the jury return from deliberation with large bills in their hands and the verdict, you guessed it – NOT GUILTY. The rest of the story related by the judge tells the tale of the arrest and hanging of Jack McCall in another town some weeks later. In the end, justice was served.

By the time we got gas and picked up a few groceries at a quick mart, our bedtime moved from our normal 9:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. Three tired little doggies named Cheryl, Frank and Peanut hit the hay and dreamed of iron horses “thundering through the skies and up a cloudy draw.”

We’re having a blast, as if you couldn’t tell!

Love, Wild Bill, Calamity Jane, and Doc